questions??!?!????!???!??!!!!!!

excited?
i dunnoe u noe...
im beginning to wonder
if its really that big a deal
how come im not feeling much
still a bit numb
still a bit lost
still a bit astray

"19 is a crucial age
its when u decide who you are
what you want
where your heading
its when u ask
and ask
and then you decide
and choose
..."

yeah
i think your right
i think shes right
i think ive been choosing a lot this year
without knowing much
this year has been a year'
of many 'first times'
and these 'first times'
aernt exactly things that im proud of
have i decided who am i?
or am i far from deciding?
am i still on the fence?
knowing where i want to go
yet somehow resisting
knowing who i want to be
yet postponing the full realisation......

when is that time going to come?
when am i going to confidently say who i am
to decide and to believe
fully

its got to be soon
that i know
for too much waiting
is going to hurt me eventually
if its His work i want
then i better choose it
fast
if its His servant i want to be
than i better become it
fast.

im scared
and getting more scared each day
will i ever stray too far
too far to turn back
too far to be pulled back
????
will i ever decide?
once and for all