A new fav song

THE FRAY LYRIC - "How To Save A Life"

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong,
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong,
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong,
I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

miss those 'rafael' days.

Tennis, tennis courts, fighting over rafael, stalking, harassing ms mard and otehr teachers...staying back till 10pm, debate, drama pract, getting stress, maggie mee from SPC, cheddar and broccolli soup, cafe-ing, skipping euro hist, EVERYTHING!!!!....believe it or not, i miss that short 1 and a half years in JJ. (of course there are many things that i dont miss as well..haha)...u noe waht i miss most...i miss hanging out with my peeps, rotting in the canteen...feeling guilty together coz we know that we should actually be studying and not slacking...with kez sereney stace....and CLEMENTT!!..omg..that guy..we used t call so often..not hes in ns (commando, mind you..haha) i only have short talks on msn...haizzz...im actually gald i ended up in JJ...coz i met all these ppl..and did all kinds of crazy stuff...sigh....Bye to those days.

Once Pure

An empty block.
A blotch of black;
another then another.
Once fully white,
now just cracks.
The black spreads on.
It hurts, I cringe.
A tarnished life,
once so pure.
I stretch my hand,
no one at the other end.
Silence, not his voice,
numbness, not his touch.
I want you Oh Lord;
pass me another block.
White without blotches;
love, purity, sanctity.

Wish i had guts

Some people just have guts the size of an elephant. Right now, i wish i were like these people. I wish i had ebough guts to go to this particular someone and just say all that i need to say, expose my thought feelings..ect. and then pick up even more guts to ask him what he really thinks of me. But the truh is, im really this scared shy girl who would probably never dare do anything like that. So i dont have much choice but to just go with the flow and accept things as they come. If i could just grab some courage, maybe i could move away from this stagnant position and create a shorter pathway to a happy ending..or create at least some hope of a happy ending. So tell me what shoul i do...let go of my personality, conscience and what i know to be the right thing, and do something beyond courageous for me...or hang on to this cover up, this facade, and let fate and destiny take its place? Confused. Beyond confused. My life encompasses secrets that can never be revealed for the better of my future becouse its hidden under fear and worry. He'll never know what lies in the depths of my mind..and likewise, i'll never know what lies within his. Tho happy with every small moment, i'll continue to be upset, very upset about this stagnant situation im in.

Dream...Fate...Faith

If I die tomorrow, you will remain a mystery forever;
It seem like dreams are the furthest it will get.
I tell myself that this is all a hallucination,
But my heart replies that i'm clearly lying.
If i were to be honest, hurt is inevitable.
You have caused this dillemma,
Yet it is you who clears my mind.
Why couldnt you just have stayed as a face in the crowd?
I have restricted myself for the sake of those i love.
I have made a promise that now traps me.
At times, the urge to break this promise grows strong;
Yet I know I cant.
So I hope that my life will last really long,
Until the moment comes when I'm right beside you.
But then i will have to base my dreams on fate,
for that time can never come.
You may not be there when i finally open my heart.
If you were, your heart would have accomodated another.
It's sad to think that It'l be long till i wake from this dream.
It hurts to think that when I do, fate would play against me.
All i ask is for you to give me a chance,
to open you heart before i open mine.

Sai Awareness night

went to meet manges at one...ended up rushing to queensway shopping centre to get the door gifts punched...the poor girl looked so tired. left queesway arnd 4 and went to PGP...nostalgia man...stayred there for a week for pre-u seminar...trust me, the outside lloks like some resort...but u'll think again once u see the rooms.

anyway, the best part of the event was the 2 performances...the first by thiru and gang and the second my naresh and sai vig...both were equally smashing...2 bad bands dnt usually appreciate choir like voices..haha...anw,,, i dont like re -counting stuff...its pretty boring. so im ending here!

Smile Now, Cry Later

Have you ever wondered what you really want for yourself and your life. these two are questions that i refuse to face at this point of time. Sometimes you know what your doing is completely ridiculous. You know that what your doing is just going to bring about hurt and tears in future. But the problem is, you cant let go of what your doing now, your feelings and emotions, because the sweetness of the present circumstance is too good to give up. I want to let go of these emotions and feelings coz i'll know it'll never be. but at the same time i dont want to. the thought of the present puts a smile on my face, the thought of the future makes me cringe. Dont worry tho,i have this feeling that somethings gng to happen soon that will force me to re think my thoughts, emotions, feelings and actions. to just let go.

A New Beginning

ok, so i guess im not blogger material am i? havent updated my previous blog for like the past 4 mths or so. and when i want to update it, guess what?i realised i forgot my password and username.haha. i promise to do better at this one...