devastation

when i woke up this morning
i kinda forgot it happened
then i remembered
but i seemed calm
so i thought maybe its settling down in me
maybe im getting a hold of myself
went for the yagna
and sudenly all the emotions cameback to me
the anger grew
grew out of proportion
forced me to walk away
forced me to turn my back on him
first time in my life
refused to help in the clearing up
refused to lift a fingure
came back and slept
thru the anger
thru the tears
woke up
and the anger was still burning
strong...
all i feel like doing now
is stupid things
or on a milder note
throwing sth at the wall really hard
but ive got to resist the stupidity