finally!

FINALLY!!!...TENNISS!!!!..after like dunnoe how many million months...but gladly...i dnt think ive lost it all..played with stace and kez...wore our school clothes so that we wouldnt be stopped or anything..gosh..i seriously felt like i was a student again!!!.....just wish school wasnt soooo farr..then i think i dont mind going back everyday to play!! just like last year...i think tennis is what kept me sane thru A's...rite kez?? (we used to play everyday...every break)..but i think kez and i will be gng back to play next week too..stace, quit your job and join us!!!....miss those those...slacking in the only glamorous, englishy looking plcae of the school - the courts!!...haha..yup we so have to play again soon kez!!!...

back on track

im finally back on track!
im sure whats my stand in life
i know what i really want
i know whats true friendship
who is true friendship
i know whats joy
i know where happiness can be found
i know what and who is worth it
and will all this knowing
ive become stronger
more than anyone can imagine
the goal is clear
the game is easier... :)
the birth of transformation

you know how some conversations with people can change a lot of things at one go. last night i had one of those sort of conver...yes...with none other than anisha...and we talked so much bout everything thats been happening...and we've got everything sorted out....so i guess that para above speaks for her as well..

"tell me your company and i will tell you who you are"
any idea how much depth this quote has!??
trust me..just pondering on this quote for a little while can open up chapters
of new beginnings..

and so my journey towards transformation has begun
im going to try my very best to stay on this track
and i wont stray
i promise
this is the least i can do for friends
true friends and people in my life

HIS work is all im going to focus on now...
the saturday service project made me realise that
HIS work
brings not only joy
but joy with a meaning and a lesson
joy with an opportunity to grow....
i have been given a chance
a chance to serve Him and others
missing out on this chance
while caught up with trivial wants and thoughts
will be throwing the opportunity to lead
a life of meaning and depth...
im the servant
to a sea of masters
and in serving
i'll be the master to my mind...

And i make new promises for this new chapter of my life...new promises to end a chapter full of
waste..

"take a lesson from the sun who shines his light on everyone"...

To love beyond limit..to forgive..and to give...to serve...
to dwell in thoughts of Him
His name on my tongue, in my mind and in my heart
to dedicate every minute, moment to His glory
to appreciate real love
to praise His name
through the praise called 'service'
to discrimate between whats right and wrong
to listen to my conscience
and to love myself
to stand strong amidst desires
amidst unrighteousness
amidst those that will stand in the way
to stand strong
for Him
for them...them who care..not for what i want, but what i need

these shall be my desires...

exhilarating exhaustion

goshhhh
so so so so so tired
my feet hurt
and my eyes are gng to close

Yesterday we had a major service project...morning till night ..almost all i did was stand or walk. The old folks were brought out to sentosa and a buddhist temple in the morning. but i couldnt go coz had to decorate the venue for the dinner at night..trust me, being part of the deco team was in no way relaxing. went there at 10 am...and i was standing and runnning around the whole place all the way till 4+...except for a short break in between. i did the outside deco with durga..the rest did the inside....was kinda stressful coz at times we'll realise we didnt have enough of what we needed...but guess what!i think the plcae still looked beautiful at the end of the day...the candles. the white pebbles, the sand, the fish cut outs, the cloth drapes...everything so pretty..He definitely takes care of everything at the end of the day. :)...was super tired by the time i finished the deco..but didnt have much time to relax. went out to go buy baloons...didnt come back with any...by the time i came back there was hardly any time to relax..just had some time to play with the kids for a while..then arnd 6..the old folks came back for dinner...IT WAS SO AMAZING!!!...and then again i was on my feet...but i still had to smile..know y? coz we managed to bring a smile to their faces and in the end..the energy and love that filled the place was so overwhelming..they left arnd 9 30 +..and guess what..still cant sit...had to start clearing up immediately...we finished arnd 11...whoaaaaaaa.was super tired....but the night was still young...

stayed at abis place coz guna and kumaran (her cousins) were in s'pore.and her 1 yr old niece is back!!!..had soooo much fun...laughed like mad...went wandering at 2 am..slept at 4 am...suppose to wake at 7 coz there was a blood donation drive that we were suppose to go and help out at..but guess what..we only woke at 10 30!!!...and the moment i got out of bed and started walking..i had to say 'ouch!!'..my feel hurt so baddddd!!!.coz of yesterdae.....did more standing at the drive...and i donated blood!!!...now at home..damnnn tiredddd..but, i loved this weekend!! i dnt mind every weekend being this way...coz no matter how tired u are..u still have to smile coz of the love and energy that surrounds you..His love translated into love for other ppl :) :) :)...such weekends just gets you thinking..and appreciating the place i belong to..and you know what..im gng to make te most out of it..and thats a promise...for its only coz of such activities, such joy and fun...that life has some depth...and this is truely one of the best weekends ever!!!!! :) :) (just one more thing could have been added to it to make it better...ANISHA!! )...

oh and i learned how to sing a bit of another tamil sonng..heard this song and watched the movie a few times when i was a kid....and i suddenly remebered it...and now (coz of helpful ppl) i know how to sing the first two stanzas...

Nila kaigirathu Magam Thaygirathu
Yarum rasikavilaye
Enthu kangal mathum yunai kaanum

Thandaral Pogintrathu solai seri kaiendrutru
yarum surikavilaye
enthu kaikal mathum yuai theydum

its damnnn nice... :) :) :)

the happiest girl!!!!

im the most high, most happy girl riht now...
y?????
cozzzzzzzzz
i received a phone call
from MOE!
yesssssssssss
i got it
I GOT IT
i got the scholarship!
i couldnt believe it seriouslyyyyy
like seriouslyyyy

and its so amazing how people are genuinely so happy for me
to illustrate
let me tell u how my conver with anisha is like..

rekha: (practically screeching) guess wat?
anisha: wat??
rekha: guess u pig
anisha:dnt wanttt...wat??
rekha:i got the scholarship!!!
anisha: whaTTTTTTTTT!!!!...OMG
rekha: i knowwww...OMG!
anisha:(starting to screech) OMGGGGG
rekha: OMGGGG..AHHHHHH
anisha: AHHHHhahahahahaha..yayyyyyyyy...that means i can stay with u in hostelllll!!!
rekha: pig...

see...she was so happy for me... she was practically screaming as tho she got it..but yarrrr..super happy..and yes..when she gets to NUS, we'll be staying together.!!!tehres only one person to thank::: HIM!!!

i was thinking
its so amazing how
when such happy things happen
there and then
all the things that upset or anger you
become specks of dust
lost
as a gush of wind
caused by that sudden surge of
overwheming overpowering happiness
blows it all away
proclaiming it trivial
and forgotten
and right nowww
im soooo happyy
that i couldnt care less bout who says what untrue thing bout me
bout who holds a negative perception bout me
coz its their loss
karma will pay close attention to their thoughts and negativity
and right now
all i can say
is that im happy and thankful
everything is falling into place
PERFECTLY

and to top my perfect day..something that i read thats so meaningful and that consoled me further ... confidence reinstilled

Love, as long as life lasts. For Myself, I can say, I shower more blessings
on those who decry or defame Me than those who worship and adore Me! For,
those who spread falsehoods about Me derive joy therefrom; I am happy that I
am the cause for their exultation and joy. You too must accept this line of
argument and be very happy when someone derives joy by defaming you. Do not
respond by defaming that person; then, the chain of hatred will bind both
and drag both down. Life will become a tragedy. Conquer anger by means of
fortitude; conquer hatred by love. Do not feed anger with retaliation; do
not feed hatred with fury. Forget and forgive all that has happened amongst
you until this very moment; start a new chapter of love and brotherhood from
now on.

21.05.07

early mornnnn:

i hardly got any slp last nite..barely 2 hrs actually..not a very good thing considering i had an interview 2dae. had to get up early...y??? coz i was gng to meet clement at 8 30!!!!...yaeshhhh clement ho wei jian!!!...my ultimate buddy and accomplice in jc nonsense. its been so loonggggggg since i saw him..he looks taller actually..and definitely more muscles!!!! mr commando!!! followed him back to JJ...and omg..i realised this is the first time im gng to boon lay side this whole year..damn far frm my place lah...its like bus to novena mrt frm my place..train ride all the way down to boon lay, then bus again..gosh..talk bout FAR!! anw..ms mardi was on MC.. super sad..coz then there wasnt really anyone to tok to since mdm pathrose, or rather karol, has shifted to PJ...saw mr dore tho..as cute as ever...and of crs his eyes are as blue as ever...but guess wat...ms mardi said meet her at te macs near jurong west market..(she misses us a lot too)..slacked there...talked a lot of rubbish...laughed a lot..yeap..then i had to say bye to both..

interviewww!:
yesh..todae was teh dae..for the scholarship interview...at MOE HQ...abi came with me..but she had to stay in the lobby...she waited for me k...for like 2 hrs!!!!guess real friends do exist (thanks sweetheart!)...tehre were like 4 ppl waiting in frnt of me..gosh..i was bored..so i just kept praying...then the girl sitting next to me suddenly turns to me says hi..and we reallllyyyy started toking..we had a lot in common...both of us are the englishyyy drama sort...she too took lit hist econs...anw...yar...time went by faster tat way...i wa sthe last to be interviewed...kinda scary ... but i didnt show it..couldnt of crs..not a good idea...they asked a lottttt of quest...it was ok...they laughed sometimes...dnt ask me y...anw..i did my best...as in really...i gave all i could, now the rest is up to Him...i could definitely use this scholarship...but watever the outcome is...its His will..and i'll just keep praying....

by HIS side

His hands have always been stretched out
His heart always open
He's been walking next to me
all this while
right there by my side

its me
im the problem
my heart was closed
my hands clasped tight
ive been walking away
never at His side
just away

But i woke up one day
a week ago
and i told myself
im walking beside Him
now and forever more
I took His hand
and since then
ive never let go
My daily accomplice
my pocket pal
whatever
I bring Him wherever i go
for thats what He wants
for us to just walk by him
and when youre by His side
your step's in sync with His
everyday
every moment
is just happy happy happy
for what can go wrong when Youve got Him
my pocket pal for life
i'll bring Him everywhere i go...

with them again

another day out with rania and shiva...and as usaul....it was nothing but fun, crazy, fun, crazy. played pool again..i got bored of of being the loser so i just went around taking photos..haha.of myself too..sticked to wearing my shades coz my eyes still swollen... :( ... we watched a 'romantic comedy' called 28 weeks later..or is it 'days..ah ...whatever...yar..such a sadddd 'romantic' movie...roamed around vivo then town...yup...greattttttt dayyy!!...adn of coz...lot of photos!!

sick....

left eye is swollen
cough cough cough
(then again ive been coughing since the time i had tat stupid asthma attack in march)
and, duh, the more i cough, the more i wheeze, the moe i wheeze, the more i cant breath
my fault tho, im suppose to be banned from cold drinks
but would rekha reddy listen???
noooooooooooooooo
ysterday: bandung with lot of ice, lime juice...
siigghh
i must never end up in the emergency ward again
its horrid!!

a brief explanation of y the emergency ward is horrid, and why rekha reddy hates it:

you go to the counter at the entrance
you cant breath
your gasping
loudly
and they ask whos the patient???
like duh, its ME

and the guy says to my mum
get a wheelchair
and im like,
NO
im not sitting in a wheelchair
i can walk
and the guy says
NO...you cant breath
you HAVE to sit in the wheelchair
arghhh
so i have no choice
and immediately
a nurse comes
and wheels u away
you have NO IDEA whats happening
they wheel you from person to person
and they talk GREEK!!!
well they talk science (eww..in front of an arts person!!blasphemy!!)
but i cant say much since i already cant breath
they put a mask on ur face
and blasts a smelly gas...
for a longgg time

and then you think you can go home..
oh nooo
they are far from done
chest x ray!!
the radiologist says
'you ok, can you stand up?'
goshhhh
they make it sound like ur dying
thats over quite fast
then they wheel you the see the doctor
and he says..
we're not letting you go home tilll we give you 4 more nebulizers
and till you can breathe normally and your chest dsnt hurt
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
by now, y heads really pain
and i wanna go home :(
but no
they put that mask on me again
and again
and again
for teh next 2 hours
just breathing in that smelly gas

and thats y the emergenncy ward sucks, and im never going back there agin!

1 reply..

Another day has gone by and still no reply from NUS...tomorrows a new week, hope it comes then..an ecceptance letter or course, not a rejection one...

butttttt...friday around 5...i get a phone call, 'hello, im calling form MOE scolarship unit, and i would like to know if you are free for an interview on the 21st?'...OMG..i wanted to scream on the phone..if i could fly thru the phone and give this lady a hug, i would have done that too....:) :)...and i just said..'of course!!'..i was like grinning form ear to ear..i bet that lady could guess that form the tone of my voice..and i was thinking..'bloddy hell, your asking if im free??? even if i was getting married on that day, i would have cancelled it and gone for the interview!' we're toking bout a scolarship here...u know, free education..hostel fees..exchange programme covered...weeeee...but calm down rekha..youve only gone thru the first hurdle- getting to the interview..theres still one more - getting the scholarship itself!!!...pray, pray and only prayer... (thanks for everyrones prayers)

KIDS!

i love
i love
i love
i love kidsssssss

theyre just so free from everything we are slaves to
ego, pride, anger, ... ect
look into the eyes of a kid and you'll know what i mean
its just filled with joy
pure bliss

as many of you know, i worked for a child care for two months at the beginning of the year..and you know what, i dare say that was the best experience of my life...
everytime i was upset, scared (results hadnt come out yet)....just the sounds of my kids, or the hugs, or even their naughtiness wld ineveitably make me feel better...

abi had the privilege of meeting these kids...i taught every class but my favourites came from the N1's (2-3 yr olds)...theres damien, yi tat, jobina, jaden, gillian, desmond and the 18th month old, tessa..
and the one who just stole my heart: yi tat...
i loved him so so so so so much...
i rmb comming back to work aft 2 days of MC, he came running to the gate with the most gorgeous smile and chirped "carry, carry, carry", with his arms stretched above him towards me...and i picked him up and asked wheres my hug? and he'l give the smallest yet warmest and cutest hug EVER..i always saw him off when he went home...helped him put his shoes on..and b4 he goes i'll say '"hug, hug"..and he'l give me on of those healing hugs again...and a kiss on my cheek...just selfless pure love...to imagine we were all just filled with that kind of love .. if only it stayed and never got tainted my the anger that we are so engulfed by...i'l always miss yi tat...and all the other kids..but theres adorable ones in the centre...all my cuties, and theres roshini, abis niece, who by default becomes my niece..shes comming back in June,,weeeee...so excited.

and so, with that said, when i grow up, illl definitely want to have kids of my own...and i actually went searching for nice meaningful sanskrit names (yes im very free.)..and it'l be one of the following, i reserve them..no ones allowed to name their kids by the following hehehe

Girl: Tara (star), Asha (hope), Harsha (happiness), Manisha (godess of the mind), Priti (love), Akhila (complete), Amisha (beautiful)..

Boy: Akshat (uninjurable), Nilesh (Lord Krishna), Dhiren (one who is strong)..Zevesh

and..my sir name will be in their names..who ever said only the family name of the husband has to be passed down. so for exampla, if my daughters name is Tara, her full name will be: Tara reddy-(my husbands sir name).....yeah!....

how well do u noe me?

quick, take my test...its on the side of the page...10 questions. easy? that depends on u..so exciting...i shall treat the person who gets all right to a drink :)...good luck!

scared

yikes double yikes
another week
and still no letter
checked online..it says
'application processing'
yikes
wats taking them so long????!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!!!!!!?????
plsssss
scareddddd

fun quizes

m bored..and this wat ppl do when they are bored...they do fun quizes..no wait .. actually im not that bored...but thesee things are just fun lah...yay... You Will Die at Age 82 Congratulations! You take good care of yourself. You're poised to live a long, healthy life. What Age Will You Die? yay..im living a longg life..tat meas all of u are stuck with me till im 82!...yay...(this the part where u say hurrah)

walaoooo...see the word INNOCENT starring at u..i hate it..i was just venting on one of my frenz last nite how pissed i get when some1 (everyone) thinks im innocent...!!!...im not..it makes me sound abnormal...sighhhh..oh well anw, stole this off mellies blog..(thx mel)...and guess wat, she too is the bubble!!!hehe..but really ah..i tell u , if anyone dares use the word on me - 'innocent', i wont hesitate to give one tight slap...u bet

crazy as ever

yup

my predictions rite

we've still got it
what?
craziness!!!!!...
the good all days at st margs
no wait
in order to honour i shall say

ST MARGARETS SECONDARY!!!

my warm choc cake frm starbucks...yummmy

the good old days

little dweepy girls
clad in green polka dots
sceaming screeching
laughing gigling
those were the days
and now
meeeting tonite.. just the 3 of us
mellie me and nanz
i a lil dfferent in surface...

i love mellie!...and the fork..haha

but im glad to say
we havent changed one bit
in heart...
crazy as ever!!!!

i think as usual
we laughed both pasta mania cine
and starbucks down
we remembered all those crazy times

stuffing my face with my choc cake :)

a couple of years ago...
they remembering how i laughed till i fell to the floor
they tickling me and pulling my shoes and socks of
eh
u notice ah
im always the victim!!!!
but thoe were really the days
i'll always treasure those moments
and glad we met todae
21 st JUNE sleepover...
im getting my revenge on tat nite
muahahahahahahaha

nanz, mellie, me!..the craziest trio ever

smss will always stay close to my heart
(my daughter is gng there..i dnt care!)
and the friends, or should i say sisters?
will always stay special
:)

clap my hands

clap my hands
for im happy
and i know it

a long long day at the temple today
meeting, B practice, meeting
after that went to sentosa!!
for dinner
farewell to uncle ramdas and family
long tiring day
overload of meetings
but fun nonetheless
and im happy!

angers gone
just couldnt care
let whatever be
not numb
just pure happiness
:)


im surrounded by love
friendship
and more love
and theres Him
ive been neglecting Him
better give Him more focus ;)
so many people
that just love
and care
alll arround me!
what more do i want? (besides a acceptance letter frm NUS..plsss)
a future to look forward to
excitement
11-31st july
just cant wait
pure happiness
:)
clap!clap!

cherish the past, bring it to the future

somehow when at that moment
when time stops
i regret every mistake of the past
and i couldnt care less
about the trivial importance
that my mind has placed
on people of utter insignificance
for i realise that
for some people in my life
people who have been there
years
i'll give up the world
i would have given the emo crap
months ago
to just realise
the time to let go
is just around the corner
and with that realisation
i would have cherished every moment .

but even when the decision is made
i know that
you will be there
just like in the past
for the past is not a vessel of lies
its moments to cherish
moments to be repeated
growing up
is not always
going away....
and with that
i confidently say
the person u were to me
will always be
:)

rope me in again.

i think ive been too distant
too distant from your presence
too distant from your love.
rope me in again i ask
your the only one i wish to think of
for theres no one else worth
thinking about.
i have wasted my minds energy..
for some time now.
please rope me in again.
All the worthless thinking
pondering
has ended up in
hurt
and now
anger
just anger.
But this anger is not me.
its just in me
take that away too
and
rope me in again
please.

another bdae!

nainas (daddys) bdae today!!...my childhood sweetheart haha (no kidding, i wanted to 'marry' him)....small celebration- family lunch then cut cake...

bdae celebration!

todaes...no wait its 12 am alraedy, yesterday was anishas bdae!...yes my one and only sister!...her bdae...so this was the plan...

i meet sharania at arnd 3..we go play pool, then around 6m we meet the birthday girl!...but guess wat! anisha got out of school early...so the plan changed

met her at novena at 2 45..then went down to town to meet sharenia...and sharania brought a surprise for both of us!...it was small..hehe...slightly taller than me...it was shiva!both anisha and me didnt know he was cmming...so yar, even i was HAPPILY surprised

Thai express! went there first to eat!....i tell u...we were laughing so much, we couldnt even order! shiva lah...and ok sharania! all your fault...so lameeeeeeeee...as usual, but funny...so so funny... anisha and i was saying they should be stand up comedians...and they were like but we're sitting down. see what i mean!!!! haha... and shiva couldnt get over the thai names of the dishes..he kept saying it..."kua gum bo nam peng"..it sounded like he was uttering vulgarities...no shiva...nxt time, pls stick to eng/tamil....hehe...u know what, if anyone ever thought of joining a laughing club or sth, no need, just hang out with shiva and sharania can already

went to play pool at lucky plaza after eating...and as usual...i suck at pool!!!...but this time, i had anisha, whos as bad at it as me...so didnt look as bad as the last time..heh. but even during pool, it was as though were were in some comedy lah!!....gosh...laughing medicine overdose!

and anisha ditched us at arnd 6 30....hope my dearie enjoyed herself..then i went with the 2 mangos to watch a movie tat only suits mangos...argh, spiderman 3....see lah...hu was that big buffalo who kept saying he wanted to watch that movie!...omg...this i must say..one part of the movie, some old guy told peter parker...call the girl and say, ur a nice man, and shes a nice girl...and that shiva, know what he did...he called me! yes, he's sitting next to me, my phone starts to buzz..i check...and its like shiva calling me!..to say hes a nice guy and im a nice girl...gosh....hahahahaha...even during the movie...the 3 of us kept laughing..like i said laughing medicine overdose....the movie already so lame, then i sit beside one lame mango...poor me...

now its time for pics!





shivas plate!!! after he cleared everything on it, and waited for me to pay the bill!








gosh i cant take the lamenes! KA-POW!!!






hello lucky plaza toilet mirror!












we're trying to copy 'the' shivas pose....dnt think we passed :(

YIKES!

yikes...correction to the previous post!..NUS has started giving out letters of acceptance!! yikes, double yikes...mine better come to my mail box soon, and i mean soon...shiversss

UNI!!??

u see..its funny, im super excited to be a student in NUS..but guess wat,,,i havent got a reply from them, so dont know if i have a place in NUS...well then again, no one has got a place inNUS...they havent started giving out letters...think that will only happen in June..whatever it is...i really really really hope i get a place there...arts and soci!!! the coolest fac...

anyway, i haevnt got a reply from MOE about the MOE scholarship that i applied for.. i havent got a letter about getting, or about not getting it..so i really dnt noe...actually, dont reallt know whether i want it...yeah sure, its def a boon, coz everythings paid for ...frm tutorial fees to exchange programmes to hostel fees...but, i have to do a teaching sub in the uni, that means i cant do political science! (which is what i really really really want to do)...so if i dont get the scholarship, i can go ahead with majoring in PS....if not, i'll just settle with history...being a teaches cool...but now im thinking, i wouldnt mind working for the ministry of foreign aff...who knows, one day i might rise up to be some big shot in ASEAN!...i love all these things related to politics..i find politics itself so interesting...

now im beginning to regret, not trying for law...coz some1 i know, had the same core sub grades as me...and applied for law!!!!!....but oh well...no point regretting...dnt think can get in also...heard 1000 ppl applied!

i will tell them every detail of my life,
for they have walked me thru
life itself.
given me love, support
more than i can ask for.
They will NEVER hurt me.
I will trust them...
and i will give my support back
in my own little way.
For He has sent them into my life
and in my life they will stay.
They are more important,
than many other people.
And i know,
they will continue to give me
that same kind of love and support.
and they will always stay close to my heart,
for they are worth it.
I will confidently stand up for who they are in my life:
mentors, friends, family. :)