questions??!?!????!???!??!!!!!!

excited?
i dunnoe u noe...
im beginning to wonder
if its really that big a deal
how come im not feeling much
still a bit numb
still a bit lost
still a bit astray

"19 is a crucial age
its when u decide who you are
what you want
where your heading
its when u ask
and ask
and then you decide
and choose
..."

yeah
i think your right
i think shes right
i think ive been choosing a lot this year
without knowing much
this year has been a year'
of many 'first times'
and these 'first times'
aernt exactly things that im proud of
have i decided who am i?
or am i far from deciding?
am i still on the fence?
knowing where i want to go
yet somehow resisting
knowing who i want to be
yet postponing the full realisation......

when is that time going to come?
when am i going to confidently say who i am
to decide and to believe
fully

its got to be soon
that i know
for too much waiting
is going to hurt me eventually
if its His work i want
then i better choose it
fast
if its His servant i want to be
than i better become it
fast.

im scared
and getting more scared each day
will i ever stray too far
too far to turn back
too far to be pulled back
????
will i ever decide?
once and for all

dinners!!!!!

the past two days have been so filled with food...like fooooooddddd!!!
i need to go for a run!!!
so the very next day after the SRKT charity dinner was sai prahlaths bdae party!!!!and yess,, food food and more food...the danger of buffets!....it was a fun time...but it seemed like rania and me were the only camwhores..we need to influence more ppl...heh

HAT FIGHT!!!!!.....uncle prem up to his craziness...hehe.. :)

eventually we became fascinated by the hats






















us again! :)

















me and aunty usha.. :) :)

and the very next day after that dinner...was another dinner in celebration of uncle sunthars bdae (26 june)...at quality hotel....chinese vegetarian BUFFET!!! yessss...BUFFET....uhoh

anw that was really really really fun!!!!!!....crazy...and i love crazy


















preparing to sing the bdae song to our dearest uncle sunthar


















and we sing..."happy bdae to u, happy bdae to u"



















evidence of pigging out...yikes






















love them lots! :)....




























me. aunty usha. hemma
















one final pic to end a happy day.. SMILE :)

thanks :)

22.06.07
the day i took out my dreams
from the pits of my heart
unfolded them
let them fly
to become a reality
once dreams
folded squares
now reality
real happiness
let to grow
let to become

i judged you
hid you away
struggled to trust
but i knew you were there
for u loved me
for you love me
and now in all my joy
i will glorify
and praise
for its you and you alone
waiting for me
at the end of the race.

ppl to thank
mum, naina (dad), ana (bro) : for the countless nites of praying for me, for sharing my disappointment, fr being there, for driving around to run errands, for calling all the contacts, for communicating, for loving, fro putting up with my temper and bad moods

aunty ranga: for going all out to do all she could, for getting me a back up plan, for being there
aunty sandra, aunty usha, uncle sunthar: for being a pillar of support from the very beggining,for countless days of comfort, for keeping me in their prayers everyday, for understanding, for listening
everyone else in the centre: hugs, smiles, support, comfort

nirmala pathey (aunty): for doing what she could in her power, going all out to push, for her re-assurance

anisha, abi, achu: for being the bestest friends, showering me with comfort..for being there

benjamin (anishas tutor): for doing what he could in his power despite me being a mere stranger

(centre friends) sharania, shiva,niva, thiru, jivs: for advice, for consolation

(school friends) stace, kez, nanthini, esther, clement: for support, for consolation

HIM...: for putting me thru this for a good reason that i shalll understand soon...for loving me unconditionally despite my anger directed to Him..for..love, love, love

:)

SRKT charity dinner

the reason why i love them sooo much??
coz they have left lasting smiles in my heart
lasting happiness in my journeys to come
:)

zoomongous mania

yes yes, a repetition of two blogs
but give some chance lah...to express my zoomongous feeling in my own way

where: everyones (everyone who came excluding me) ancestral area, country of origin
who: strange creatures of the wild with the names - sharania, uma, sai, shiva, thiru, kumaran, jj

it was initiated by sharania...i wanted to go to the zoo too! then i get a call from her- an invitation to her home and the home of all her friends!...they were sooo generous when i visited their home...took me on a complete tour, where i got so see some of their real forms -> orang utan (sharania) , pigs (shiva)...ect ect....

and after they showed me their side of the world, i showed them my more civilized side..introduced all of them to a civilized game called pool...they were sooo excited to see sth sooo different (hehehehehehe)...so i taught them the game, since i am after all the best in it....
ahhh...okok..rekha, dnt lie, its bad for health. well, the truth..i suck at pool!!!!!! but im not the only one who sucks...thiru is baddddd too. so we decided to determine whos the ultimate loser at the game...and i shall proudly announce its not me...!!!!! i beat him! yay (sorry, i just had to boost my ego a bit..)

now for pictures....














we were jealous that the animals got to live behind bars.















not all survived the insanity















at the start!















there are times when we actually do look normal














looks like im a some goddess: shiva and rabia are my guarding animals amd thirus worshippin me. :) all hail rekha!














eeekzzzz!! eww (hehe..i like being mean)














the sophisticated (front), the unsophisticated (back)















I LOVEEE HORSES! my most fav animal in the whole wide world! was suppose to learn horse back riding this hols....where did all my moneyy gooooo???? sob sob...









thirus way of showing gratitude...sighhh....kids these days..

sunday morning

WEDDING

east coast

16.06.07
9:00pm-12am
east coast park
me.abi.achu.hemma aka.
aunty sandra.arul anne.manges aka.my bro

part 1:
fun
water
water rats
scream
subway
fun
fun
fun


part2:
rain rain go away
come again another day
we want to play
at the beach!
:(
cold....brrrrrrr
shelter
macs
milo
fries
ice cream
:)